


Avengers & reader one shot

by AchillesTheseus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hydra (Marvel), Marvel Universe, Multi, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25021201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AchillesTheseus/pseuds/AchillesTheseus
Summary: Random Avengers one-shots. The reader is gender-neutral.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Reader, Avengers Team/Reader, Bruce Banner & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Reader, Steve Rogers & Reader, Thor (Marvel) & Reader, Tony Stark & Reader, Wanda Maximoff & Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 93





	1. Cat

**Author's Note:**

> This is just to help me get in a writing mood and post ideas that don't fit in my main fic. I guess I wouldn't mind requests.

When you walked into the living area of the compound everyone there looked at you in confusion. You simply went about your business and walked towards your room. But before you could go far Steve spoke up, asking what everyone was thinking. 

“Um… whatcha got there?” 

You looked down at your right hand and shrugged. “A smoothie.” 

“I think he means your other hand,” Natasha told you. 

You lifted your left hand up for everyone to see, “A cat.” 

The small kitten that barely fit in your palm meowed as it tried to chew on your thumb. It didn’t bother you as you could barely feel its teeth. Wanda immediately got up from her seat and cooed at the small feline. 

“Where did you get it?” she asked as you let her hold it. 

“Dumpster behind the place I bought the smoothie,” you answered, taking a loud sip of your drink. 

“What do you plan on doing with it?” Steve asked. 

“I don’t know. I’m allergic to cats.” 

Natasha scowled at you, “If you're allergic why did you take it?” 

“I’m allergic, not heartless.” 

“That means we can’t keep it,” Steve reasoned. 

“Aww can’t we get rid of (Y/N) and keep the kitten?” Wanda asked, “we won’t notice the difference.” 

“Ouch Maximoff,” you said pretending to be offended. 

“Are you two fighting again?” Tony asked annoyed as he walked into the room. “Seriously can’t you two just-” 

The billionaire paused as he saw the small furry creature playing in Wanda’s lap. Everyone stood still, afraid to make any sudden movements as he processed what he was seeing. 

“Where did you get a cat?” he asked the witch. 

Wanda pointed an accusing finger at you, “(Y/N) did it.” 

“I just wanted a smoothie,” you defended as you swatted her hand away. 

“That doesn’t answer anything. Aren’t you allergic?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How severely?” 

“Well my eyes are watering and my throat feels itchy.” 

“Jesus Christ (L/N)!” 

As you were rushed to the med bay everyone came to the agreement that it was best if they didn’t keep the kitten. It was also decided you would no longer be allowed to go out on your own.


	2. Resurrection

You clawed the dirt until you reached the surface. When you finally were able to poke your head out of the ground the family who had been paying their respects to the grave next to you screamed and ran away. You ignored their shouts about zombies as you climbed out of your grave and wiped the dirt out your eyes. 

You took a minute to be able to stand straight as it felt as if you were learning to use your legs again. Once you got your balance back you walked towards the exit of the cemetery wearing a torn (dress/suit) covered in dirt. 

As you walked down the busy streets of New York you got a lot of weird looks. You didn’t know if it was your attire, your missing shoe, or the blood on your fingers from scratching yourself out of your coffin. Either way to some people you weren’t the weirdest thing they’ve seen. 

You walked until you made it to the gates of the Avengers compound. The security guard was on break, so you used the hand scanner to get yourself through. As you casually passed a bunch of agents in the foyer, they couldn’t help gape at you, some fainting on the spot. 

In the living area, the Avengers sat quietly, a few sprawled out by themselves, others clinging on to each other. All of them were still wearing their black clothes as nobody was in the mood to get changed and go about their business. 

Instead of walking up to them and making your presence known you walked into the kitchen to find the first aid kit for your hands. You rummaged through the drawers and cabinets until you found it under the sink. 

“What the-” 

“Oh my god!” 

You looked up to see Clint and Sam gawking at you. The rest of the team followed their line of sight and then saw you covered in mud as you went through the first aid kit. 

Tony closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again as if to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. “Y-you were dead,” he stuttered. 

“That didn’t stick, did it?” you told him. You raised your hands so that they could see your bloody fingers. “Whose idea was it to pick such a sturdy coffin? I lost some fingernails crawling out of that thing.” 

Pale as a ghost Steve was the first to walk up to you and put his hand on your arm. He expected to feel something cold and dead but instead, you felt warm and alive, as if they hadn’t just buried you six feet in the ground that afternoon. “How are you here?” 

“I told you I wanted to be cremated.”


	3. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for this one after watching a Law and Order SVU episode where Munch gets shot.

You woke up in the med bay in the compound. You were laying on your side with a bunch of tubes attached to your arms. You tried to lay on your back but as you did you felt a sharp pain on your behind. Memories of how you got here flashed through your mind. You were on a mission with your team when you were caught by surprise and wounded. Where you were shot exactly was… slightly embarrassing. 

“Well if it isn’t our hero,” Tony said as he walked into the room, half the team following. 

You rolled your eyes as you adjusted your pillow. “Unless you come bearing gifts you better leave.” 

“In that case, I must be your favorite person.” Tony pulled out a brown and greased stained bag he was hiding under his coat. “I thought you might prefer this over the food they’re feeding you here.” 

“Is that a burger from my favorite place?” you asked intrigued. 

“With fries,” Tony confirmed. 

“You’re right you are my favorite person.” You eagerly accepted the bag from him as everyone sat in the seats around your bed. 

Natasha who was sitting right next to you stole one of your fries and grinned. “Where were you shot again?” 

“My ass,” you told her bluntly, “Want to kiss it better?” 

Everyone laughed. They were glad you were okay but the thought of you getting shot in the behind did sound amusing. 

“How did you let that happen?” Clint asked between laughs. 

“Not like I had a choice,” you complain, “I won’t be able to sit properly for weeks.” 

“We’ll install a special seat for you in the quinjet,” Steve joked, making everyone burst out laughing again. 

“Ha-ha joke all you want,” you said mockingly as you ate your food, “but at least you’re all going to have to pamper me until I can stand again,” 

“You poor thing,” Wanda said in a patronizing tone. 

They keep teasing you for the next few minutes until Dr. Cho walks into the room to check your vitals. She greeted everyone but then froze when she saw the half-eaten burger in your hand. 

“(L/N) you’re not supposed to be eating that,” she scolded. “Drop it!” 

Everyone was still as they watched your hand hover close to your mouth. 

“Drop it!” the doctor repeated as if she was speaking to a misbehaving pet. But instead of listening, you moved the burger closer to your mouth. 

“(L/N)!” Dr. Cho rushed to the side of the bed making you quickly stuff the burger into your mouth. Your team laughed and cheered as they watched the doctor fail at stopping you.


	4. Video Games

“What is this, an intervention?” you ask as your whole team comes out to sit in the common room forcing you to pause your video game. 

“We're here to talk about your problem with video games,” Sam said using his therapy voice. 

You groan and slump against your seat. “Oh god, it is an intervention.” 

“For someone who spends a large amount of time in hostile environments, immersing yourself in violent media can affect your attitude,” Vision added. 

“You get aggressive when you play video games,” Clint summarized. 

You started to laugh but stopped when no one else joined in. “Oh, you’re serious.” 

Steve walked towards you and reached for your controller. “We are serious, that’s why we’re confiscating-” 

Before he could grab it, you smacked his hand away surprising him. He tried again this time faster, but you jumped out of your seat and moved away. 

“You’re going to have to pry it out of my cold dead hands Cap,” you told him seriously. 

Clint smugly walked up to your gaming console and let his finger hover over the power button. “What if I did this?” 

“Don’t you dare Barton,” you warned, “I’ll never forgive you.” 

Clint smiled and turned it off in the middle of your game, causing you to lose your progress. You couldn’t do anything but gasp and glare at the archer. 

“You’re going to pay for that.” 

“We could have done this the easy way.” Steve lunged at you trying to get your controller, but you ran away. This caused everyone to get up and chase after you. 

They had blocked off the exits so you couldn’t get far. You were mostly running around the furniture playing an intense game of cat and mouse. Someone would try to go right so you would go left. It was very frustrating on their end. It wasn’t until they tried to grab your console that you were finally cornered as you had jumped in front of it to shield it. 

“Just give it up,” Natasha told you slowly approaching you. 

“No!” 

Taking advantage of your distraction, Sam tackled you to the ground. Unknowingly he had also bumped into your console. You had to hopelessly watch as it fell to the ground causing it to crack. Sam quickly got off you and backed away slowly. 

“Maybe we can fix it,” Wanda offered. 

You didn’t answer, you simply stood up and lunged at Sam before anyone had time to react. By the time they did you already pinned him to the ground with your hands grabbing his collar. It took both Steve and Bucky to get you off him, but you had an iron grip. During all the chaos Clint had taken out his cellphone and started recording. This was going on YouTube. 

“What’s going on here?” You all stopped to stare at Tony who had been in his lab during all of this. 

You pointed an accusing finger at Sam who was still helplessly pinned to the ground. “He broke my stuff!” 

“They’re being crazy!” Sam defended. 

“Just get off of him already (Y/N).” Steve grabbed you around your waist and yanked you off your teammate. As you struggled in his arms, he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his forearm causing him to drop you. “You bit me!” 

“And I would do it again!” you shout at him. 

“Okay, that’s enough.” Tony took out a blue and red device and waved it in front of your face. “Look what I have (Y/N).” 

You eagerly grabbed the device and sat back down on the couch as if nothing had happened. Everyone watched as you happily started to play a game about animals, ignoring all of them. 

“What- How did you know to do that?” Sam asked Tony. 

“Just don’t mess with their stuff,” Tony answered simply as he walked out.


	5. Broken Arm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this request took a long time to finish. I wrote a lot of alternatives for this prompt but thought I would keep it light-hearted.

“You can just ask for help,” Steve said as he watched you drag a chair in front of the kitchen cabinets and struggle to climb on.

Your right arm was in a sling due to an accident you had during a mission and you had to do everything with one hand. It was a struggle and annoying at times but you still insist on doing everything yourself.

“I don’t need your help, I can do this myself,” you tell Steve.

He takes a sip of his coffee as he watches the chair under you wobble. “You’re going to hurt yourself. Just let me get it for you.”

“You can’t reach it either,” you shoot back, “leave me in peace.”

Steve merely shrugs and pretends to go back to reading his newspaper. He’s actually watching you from the corner of his eye as you struggle to reach for a mug on the highest shelf. Steve doesn’t understand why Tony insisted on having cabinets that high, it’s a struggle for everyone.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Steve repeats.

“And I’m going to kill you. Just shut up.”

It feels like forever but you finally manage to at least touch the mug you were reaching for. Sadly as you were trying to edge it closer you ended up pushing it further back. You groaned in frustration making the super-soldier grin. 

“Can I help you now?” he asks in a teasing tone. “Your arm is broken, you’re not going to be able to get it with one hand.”

“So what if I broke my arm, I’m still doing it,” you say stepping down from the chair. You then leave the kitchen for a few minutes clearly looking for something in the living area.

Rhodey and Bruce then walk in to get food and notice the smile on Steve’s face. Rhodey is the first to ask, “What has you in a good mood?”

“Just wait for it,” the blonde tells them.  
You then come back balancing a stack of magazines you found. You place them on the chair and then struggle to climb back on.

“Are you truly that stubborn,” Rhodey asks as he watches you reach for the mug once more. “Just ask for help.”

You hear Steve snort in the background making you frown. “I rather die.”

Looking at the slippery pile of magazines at your feet Bruce tells you, “Yeah you just might.”

The three of them all watch as you finally grab a hold of the mug you wanted. But before you can start celebrating your makeshift stepping stool starts to wobble. You struggle to keep balance while your three teammates rush to your side.

“Let me-”

“No!” you say steadying yourself. “I can do this!”

Rolling his eyes Rhodey nudges your chair and you go crashing into Steve’s arms. The super soldier makes sure to be careful with your injured arm as he helps you back on your feet. You came out unharmed, but your mug wasn’t so lucky. During your fall you had let go of it and now it was all over the ground in pieces.

“That was my favorite mug,” you say sadly.

“Are you going to help clean up?” Steve asked you.

“Are you kidding, I have a broken arm,” you tell him, faking offense. “Seriously Rogers, have some consideration.”


	6. Relaxation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide to stay out of your teammates' problems as you try to relax for once.

You leaned against the patio lounge chair and lowered your sunglasses to protect your (E/C) eyes from the sun. With a cold glass of lemonade sitting on the small table next to you, you link your fingers behind your head and sigh happily. Most of the team was either out doing something or working and this was one of the few days you had to yourself.

It was a nice out and you didn’t feel like training so you decided to just relax and soak in some sun. You can hear the distant sound of people training on the other side of the compound but you ignore it, today was all about you. 

“I deserve this,” you mutter to yourself.

As you start to doze off you hear footsteps coming towards you. You ignore them and refuse to turn around, you wouldn’t let anyone ruin this for you. But as you try to doze off again a shadow washed over you blocking the sun from your view. You looked up and saw a certain Russian brunette standing over you. You sigh, “What can I help you with Barnes.”

“I need your help.” He told you panting heavily.

You put your sunglasses on your head and lean forward, “What’s wrong?”

Bucky looked back at the direction he had just come from and then quickly surveyed his surroundings. “I need you to help me hide.”

You look back as well but don’t see anything out of place, “From who?”

“Maximoff.”

“Which one?”

“Wanda!”

You snorted and leaned back in your chair lowering your glasses again. “What did you do?”

He looked at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck, “We were training and I may have gotten a little carried away.”

You grabbed your drink and took a sip, “How carried away?”

“I- I may have hit her in the eye a little too hard.”

You laugh and nearly spit out your lemonade. Bucky not seeing what was so funny glared at you. “Did you at least apologize?”

“Of course I apologized! But she did that scary thing that made her eyes turn red and I got out of there!” Bucky pushed your legs aside and sat down at the edge of your seat.

You would admit that Wanda did get a little frightening when she would get mad and her powers would get triggered, but if she decided to tear Barnes a new one who were you to get involved? “You’re on your own, Barnes. I’ll bring some nice flowers to your funeral.”

Agitated Bucky grabbed your sunglasses and threw them on the side table, “Please (Y/N), I’m-”

Before you could get angry at him for grabbing your stuff you noticed his look of horror as he looked behind you. You turned around and saw an angry Sokovian girl, with tendrils of red energy surrounding her, stomp her way towards you. You looked back at Bucky, “Run.”

Bucky stood up and booked it towards the woods that surrounded the compound. As he disappeared you leaned against your seat and closed your eyes pretending you were napping. You tried not to flinch as you heard footsteps stop next to you.

“Where is he?” You opened your eyes to look at Wanda standing over you with her arms crossed over her chest.

You pretended to yawn as to keep up the charade. “Hey, Wanda.”

“Where is he?” she repeated. You looked at her right eye that was starting to bruise and saw it flash red. At that moment you had to make a decision. Stay loyal and face the consequences or leave Barnes to his own demise.

“He went that way.” You pointed towards where Bucky had run off to.

She nodded at you and then made her way towards him. Once she disappeared into the woods you grabbed your sunglasses and went back to what you were doing before you were interrupted. Even when you heard distant shouting coming from their direction you didn’t bother to move a muscle. “Not my problem.”


	7. Chapter 7

This is a waste of time, you thought to yourself as you trudged around in the mud and garbage. The boots you were wearing were barely tall enough to protect your pants from getting coated in the wet dirt. If you sunk any deeper it would be a mess. 

“This is supposed to be my day off,” You complained as your right foot got stuck in the mud. 

“Suck it up already (L/N),” Clint told you as he trudged along with you. 

“I just think going through a trash dump is kind of,” you kick aside a trash bag, “gross.” 

“Look I didn’t ask for the ship to crash here either, we just have to find the cargo it was carrying.” 

“Were there any passengers?” 

“No, it was one of Stark’s self-flying jets.” 

The two of you kept walking, looking for any sign of the crash site but you haven’t found anything. Sadly, this dump covered a lot of ground and it would take forever to go through. 

“Woah look at this,” you hear Clint say. You turn and see him dig into the ground, making you cringe. 

“You better wash your hands before we get in my car,” you tell him. 

He ignored your comment and instead showed you what he found. To you, it just looked like an old faded lunch box, but Clint was holding it like if it was made of gold. “I used to have one just like this.” 

You look at the faded design on the front of the box and try to guess what it’s supposed to depict. “Is that a Star Wars lunch box?” 

“Cool, huh?” When the archer opened the box, you would describe his expression as both horrified and amazed. “There’s still stuff in here.” 

“Gross.” 

“This is something I always wanted to know,” Clint commented. 

“What?” 

“If twinkies lasted forever.” You flinched as he shoved the decomposing twinkie in your face. “I’ll give twenty bucks to take a bite.” 

“No, thanks.” You swatted his hand away. 

“Your loss.” Clint tossed the lunch box back onto a garbage pile, and you both continued your search. 

The further you went, the more your boots would sink into the unstable soggy ground. At one point it started to reach your knees, making it difficult to walk. 

“I don’t see why Tony couldn’t come out here himself. He wouldn’t have gotten so dirty with his suit,” you complained. 

“Mr. Money bags is at a conference, so he sent the only chumps who were free today.” 

You groaned in annoyance as you felt your hand brush against something sticky. You wiped it off on Clint’s back, but before he could get angry, you spotted something large and metallic in the distance. 

The two of you ran towards it, and thankfully, it ended up being the jet that had crashed. It was completely in pieces making you happy no one was aboard. You and Clint searched around for the supposed precious cargo. Tony said it would be in a bright red box that would stand out. The problem was that the crash had scorched everything, making it almost unrecognizable. That and the mud and trash had swallowed some things. 

“Find anything?” Clint asked. 

“Besides some scrap metal, no.” 

“This is going to take forever!” he shouted. 

You searched for what felt like hours. Separating the debris from the trash was difficult and time-consuming. This job literally stinks. You were ready to give up until you spotted a red object in the corner of your eye. “I found it!” 

“What? Where?” Clint ran to where you were and saw you left up the box to him. Glad that it was over the two of you wasted no time in getting back to the compound. 

Walking through the front doors earned you a lot of stares as everyone took in your appearance. Those who were unlucky enough to walk near you had to work hard not to gag in your presence. You and Clint not only smelled as if you were walking around a garbage dump you look like it too. 

“We deserve a raise for this,” you say as you dump the red box onto Tony’s worktable in the lab. 

“I’ll take it into consideration,” the billionaire told you as he eagerly opened it. 

Clint looked at the box curiously, “What’s so important that you had us walk through hell to get it?” 

“This.” Tony reaches in and takes out a bottle of alcohol. The box it was in had been designed to protect it during its journey. You and Clint simply stare at it. 

“You- You made us do all of this for a bottle of scotch?” you ask as you process what is in front of you. 

“It’s a very expensive bottle of scotch,” Tony corrects. 

You turn to Clint whose expression stays neutral but he slowly reaches for his arrows. You decide to reach for your knife as well. Tony notices your movements and carefully grabs his bottle before booking it out of the lab. You and Clint are hot on his trail the whole time.


	8. Crash

Your struggle to catch your breath as you put pressure on the gash on the left side of your abdomen. You desperately try to keep it from bleeding out although you can feel the blood gushing through your fingers. Your back is wet from the mud, but you can’t sit up, much less stand up as you couldn’t feel your right leg. You are hoping it's just broken and not paralyzed but right you need to focus on not bleeding out. 

You tug on the sleeves of your ripped tactical suit and tear them off. You then press the fabric onto your wound as you try not to flinch from the pain. That’s only going to help you for so long, your next move should be to call for help or find some. The problem of course is that you can’t move. 

You're stuck laying in the mud staring up at the night sky. With your moist and tattered clothes, you’re already starting to shiver. You have no light source besides the full moon illuminating some of the landscape. It doesn’t help you much, as all you see is the tall grass surrounding you. 

You desperately try to force yourself up but not only did your wound protest, so did your ribs. There was for sure a fracture there. You let yourself fall back to the ground. Hopelessness was starting to sit in. 

The mission you were on was supposed to be a simple cargo pick up. As luck would have it, it wasn’t an enemy attack that put you in this situation. A deer had run in front of you, and in a desperate attempt not to hit it you drove off the road. The one time you hadn’t worn your seatbelt had caused you to go flying out the windshield and you blacked out. Your team will surely be giving you such a tough time after hearing that. 

Thinking of the Avengers gave you a burst of hope, but then it quickly went away. You’re far from home, they weren’t expecting you back in the compound until two days. If you would have taken the Quinjet as Tony suggested, you would have been there tonight. You can expect an ‘I told you so’ from him. 

With them not knowing you were in trouble and expecting you in a few days, you are on your own now. No Avengers coming to get you. No helpful civilians stopping on the deserted road to offer help. No company to carry you back. 

In the state you are in, there is no way you’re going to survive two more days. You’re hurt and stranded, meaning you are vulnerable to the elements and wild animals. You can only count on yourself now. 

Taking a shaky breath, you slowly count to ten. On ten you force your body to sit up. Your injuries protest and you nearly collapse from the pain, but you persist. Finally sitting up you’re able to locate your vehicle. 

It’s upside down and completely trashed. No way that was going to get you anywhere. It wouldn’t be worth dragging yourself to it, but you remember there’s an emergency kit in the glove compartment. In that kit there should be a satellite phone, it can call for help. 

With few options, you decide to get it. Your leg was definitely broken, so you started to drag yourself towards the wreckage. It was only about fifteen feet away, yet with your injuries, it felt like miles. 

After a while, you got to the passenger side of the car. You carefully moved the glass away and crawled in to look for the phone. As you rummaged through the kit you smelled something familiar in the air and heard a faint trickling sound. It quickly hit you that the gas tank must have ruptured. Being near the car was a serious hazard as any spark could make it go up in flames. 

Not wanting to take any chances you dragged the emergency kit with you somewhere safe. You were still too close to comfort to the car, but your body couldn’t take it anymore. The gash on your side was starting to bleed again, making you a bit faint. The medical supplies in the kit wouldn’t help much. 

Finally, finding the phone, you put in the first number that came to mind. 

“Hello?” you hear a deep voice respond. 

“Hey Steve,” you reply weakly. 

The super-soldier is immediately concerned. “(Y/N), is that you? You don’t sound so good.” 

“Car crashed,” you say, getting to the point. “Stranded. Wounded. Cold.” 

“Okay stay on the line, you hear me. Do not hang up. Tony is tracking your location, and we are contacting local authorities. If they don’t get to your location first, we will.” You can hear the panic in his voice. 

“I- I’m tired,” is all you can respond. 

“Try to stay awake for me, (Y/N). Come on I know you can do it. Keep talking to stay awake. Tell me what you see.” 

“Trees,” you say looking around. “Grass. Dirt. Blood-” 

“Come on (Y/N) stay positive.” You can hear other panicked voices in the background, including the distant sound of the plane. 

You tilt your head back and look at the sky. “I see the moon. Didn’t know she was so bright.” 

“Can you tell me what shape it is?” 

You chuckle, “What am I, a child? It’s round, Steven.” 

Steve chuckles with you. “You’re right I’m sorry.” 

There is a pause, and you are afraid you lost him for a moment. Luckily, he comes back with good news. “We’re halfway to your location (Y/N). Natasha is flying like a crazy lady, we’ll be there soon, I promise. Tony is in his suit flying ahead, keep a lookout for him.” 

Fatigue was starting to overtake you. You look down and see your side and hand now soaked in blood. You're too weak to stay sitting up and can’t help but fall back to the ground. You’re starting to feel numb as you didn’t even feel your ribs ache as you hit the ground. 

“(Y/N),” Steve calls out. “(Y/N), are you with me still.” 

“I’m here,” you say softly. 

“We’re almost there hold on. Please hold on.” 

Your hands feel too weak to grip the phone, so you place it on your chest. Your eyelids feel heavy and you can’t help but close them. Before it goes completely black you do see a distant human-shaped figure in the sky, including the familiar roar of a plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this in an hour, cause it just came to me. Don't know why I like writing injuried characters so much.


	9. Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This can be considered part two of the previous chapter. Sorry, it took forever to finish. Reminder, requests are open.

As you went in and out of consciousness, your senses became hazy. You could feel your body being lifted, but you couldn’t feel the pain from your wounds anymore. It was as if you had gone numb. The only thing you did feel was cold. 

“Stay with us, (Y/N).” You couldn’t tell who was talking, just that they kept repeating the same phrase. 

It was getting harder to stay awake, even as the voices got louder around you. You were tired, and the blood loss was making you weak. It was a struggle to even speak, but even if you could, the people around you wouldn’t allow it, they kept telling you to save your strength. Exhaustion finally took over, and the last thing you heard was various panicked voices. 

When you were able to open your eyes again you saw a bright light, but it wasn’t the steps of heaven you were looking at, it was the hospital’s fluorescent lights. You heard the beeping of the machines you were hooked up to. You looked down and saw an IV attached to your arm, and you weren’t wearing the clothes you had on during your accident, instead, they had been swapped with a hospital gown. 

In an attempt to sit up, you jostled the injuries in your abdomen, causing you to wince. 

“Woah take it easy there,” Bruce said as he rushed to your side. “You just got those stitches.” 

“Where- Where am I,” you struggled to ask. 

“Drink this first.” Bruce grabbed a glass of water with a straw and brought it up to your lips. You took several gulps to soothe your parched throat and then leaned back against your pillows. 

“Where am I?” you asked again with more ease. 

“Hospital. We would have taken you to the med-bay in the compound, but this was closer,” he explained. 

“How long have I been out?” 

“Two days.” 

“Jesus…” You tried to lift your arm, but the ache in your muscles forced you to stop. “How bad is it?” 

Bruce grabbed a chart that was attached to the end of your bed. “Let’s see… Lots of stitches in your abdomen, a broken leg, some bruised ribs, and various minor bruises and cuts.” 

You had expected him to use more complicated medical terms, but he dumbed it down for you. “You speak so eloquently, doctor.” 

He chuckled. “I see your sense of humor remains unharmed.” 

“It’s my best quality.” You looked around the room. “Are you the only one here?”

“The rest of the team is here,” he reassured. “They’re just in the waiting room. Most of them were up all night in case you woke up. They didn’t want you to wake up alone.” 

“Isn't that sweet? I would say bring them in, but I think they beat you to it,” you said as you heard multiple footsteps down the hall. 

“(Y/N),” you heard Clint say desperately. “You’re alive!” 

The archer pushed past Bruce and tried to wrap his arms around you, but Bucky held him back. “Take it easy. Their stitches are still fresh.” 

“Right, sorry.” Clint instead put his hand over yours. “Glad you’re still kicking.” 

“You guys would be lost without me,” you teased. 

Natasha pushed the archer aside so that she could have a turn to talk to you. “We’re glad you’re okay.” 

“So am I.” 

The redhead bent down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, giving you some rare affection. “If you ever do something as stupid as that again, I swear to-” 

“Hey, it’s not like I crashed on purpose,” you defended. 

“What happened?” Sam asked you. “Were you forced off the road? Did the car malfunction-” 

“Oh god it was the car, wasn’t it?” Tony groaned. He slapped his palm to his forehead looking guilty. “I knew I shouldn’t have used the Shield design. I had a safer model, but I just haven’t had the time to develop it. I’m so sorry-” 

“Tony, calm down. It wasn’t the car’s fault, and it wasn’t yours,” you reassured him. Knowing the billionaire’s past, you didn’t want him to feel responsible for your accident. “It was my fault…” 

Rhodey crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “How so?” 

You murmured a response and avoided eye contact with everyone. They asked you to speak up, but you refused to speak clearly. 

“Just spit it out,” Wanda said. 

“I swerved off the road because I didn’t want to hit a deer!” you shouted. 

There was a mix of laughter and scolding as your team took in what you just said. 

“You almost died because you didn’t want to run over Bambi?!” Clint laughed. “You’re insane.” 

“And an idiot,” Tony added. “You weren’t even wearing a seatbelt.” 

Steve, who hadn’t said much, looked at you with wide eyes. “You weren’t wearing a seatbelt! (Y/N), do you have any idea how dangerous that was! You could’ve died if we hadn’t gotten there on time! You did die-” 

“Woah, hold up,” you interrupted. “What do you mean I died?” 

“Nice going, genius,” Bucky muttered. 

“Seriously, Rodgers,” Tony sneered. 

“Wait, were you guys just not planning on telling me this? When did I die?” They could hear your heart monitor speed up as you started to panic. 

Bruce rushed to your side and tried to keep you calm. “Your heart stopped for a bit when you got to the hospital, but they were able to resuscitate you. You were officially dead for a few seconds, but you're okay now, with no permanent damage.” 

“I died!” 

Bucky shrugged, “You get over it.” 

You relaxed, knowing you were fine, but you were going to have to deal with the fact that you died later. “How long do I have to stay in this place?” 

“We can transfer you to the compound in a couple of days,” Bruce explained. “The best thing you can do is rest for now.” 

You sighed, “This sucks.” 

“I’m going to have your license suspended,” Tony told you. “I don’t want you behind the wheel for like a year.” 

You smirked, “Like if that’s going to stop me.” 

Before Stark could argue, the door to your hospital room burst open, and the god of thunder stomped in, holding various balloons and stuffed animals in his arms. Thor’s face lit up as he saw you were awake. “(Y/N)! You are alive!” 

He passed the balloons to Sam and forced Clint to carry the stuffed animals as he embraced you. You flinched as you felt him press into your bruised ribs. “Okay big guy, I think that’s enough.” 

“Sorry.” 

Tony scowled as he looked at the number of stuff animals Clint was struggling to hold. “Thor, I told you to buy a small gift for them, not the whole gift shop.” 

“I couldn’t decide what they would want?” Thor grabbed a toy shark and passed it to you. 

You looked at it, amused. “Thanks, Thor.” 

Clint dropped the toys on a chair and then moved to the end of your hospital bed. “Didn’t you break your leg?” 

“Yeah, why?” you asked cautiously. 

Clint moved your blanket aside, revealing your cast. Before you could ask what he was doing, he took out a black marker and started to draw on it. 

“If you draw a dick on my cast, I’m going to kill you,” you threatened. 

“Hey, I want to write something too,” Wanda said. 

Tony snatched the marker out of Clint’s hand and pushed the archer aside. “I think I should get the bigger spot on the cast.” 

As they fought for a chance to sign your cast, a nurse walked in. She seemed to be in awe at all the Avengers being in one room but remembered she had a job to do. “I’m sorry, visiting hours are over.” 

“We’ll be back tomorrow, get some rest,” Steve said. He and Bruce made sure everyone said their goodbyes and didn’t linger too long. 

Once they were gone the room was quieter as the nurse checked your vitals. “You got a lot of people who care about you.” 

You smiled, “Yeah, I sure do.”


	10. Mistletoe

You gave a small wave to Bucky as you walked into the elevator. You were so caught up with the report you were reading you didn’t pay attention to the super-soldier acting weird. He was shifting his weight from foot to foot, fidgeting with his fingers, and glancing at you.

It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened that you noticed because before you walked out, Bucky leaned down and pecked you on the cheek. Shocked and confused, you watched him book it out of there as fast as he could. You didn’t understand why he did that until you looked up and saw a familiar-looking green plant hanging from the elevator ceiling.

“Stark,” you muttered.

You had forgotten about what happened in the elevator until a similar situation occurred in the kitchen. You sat down at the counter with a coffee in your hand as you finished up your reports. You barely noticed Natasha walk past you until you felt her lips against yours.

Startled, you jumped back in your seat, nearly spilling your hot drink onto your lap. “What was that for?”

The redhead didn’t respond, she simply pointed to the ceiling and left. You looked at where she pointed and frowned as you saw the same green decorative plant as before. “Stark.”

That wasn’t the last time this happened to you. Shortly after your encounter with Natasha, you moved to the living area where you relaxed on the couch and watched TV. 

You had made sure there weren’t any more mistletoe around before you put your guard down, but when Bruce walked in you were proved wrong. The scientist caught you by surprise as he grabbed your head and planted a quick kiss on your forehead.

“There isn’t any mistletoe here,” you told him.

Bruce told you to look up and you couldn’t believe what you saw. Like some sort of boobytrap, a secret compartment on the roof had opened up, allowing a small mistletoe branch to hang over you.

You glared at the festive decoration. “Stark.”

This continued to happen to you throughout the whole week with different Avengers. No matter where you went there was a piece of mistletoe hanging over you. Steve kissed you on the cheek in the gym, causing you to almost get crushed under your weights because you got distracted. Clint dramatically got on one knee and kissed the back of your hand. Wanda pecked you on the nose and Pietro caught you by surprise when he ran past you. Even Agent Hill seemed to be in on it as she pressed a quick kiss to your lips when you weren’t expecting it. 

You finally drew the line when various recruits tried to give you a kiss during a group training session. A kiss from your friends was okay, but kissing strangers was not your thing. You decided to go to the source of the problem.

“Stark!” you hollered as you stormed into the lab. “I’ve had enough of your damn mistletoe, you little-”

You froze as you looked at the ceiling filled with the holiday plants. There was nowhere to walk without stepping under it. 

“Oh hey (Y/N),” Tony said in a flirtatious tone as he leaned back in his chair. “Did you need anything?”

You glared at him but refused to step foot into the room. “Yeah, I need you to stop with the mistletoe.”

“Okay, but only if you get over here.”

You scowled at him. “In your dreams Stark.”

“I guess I can’t help you then.”

You were going to start shouting at him until an idea came to you. “Okay, let’s play it that way.”

Confused by your sudden change of attitude, Tony watched as you sent a text on your phone and then casually leaned against the doorway. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see.”

A few seconds later Thor walked casually into the lab and looked up at the ceiling. He smiled playfully at Tony. “You know the rules, Stark.”

Tony paled as he backed away from his teammate. “Wait, Thor!”

Thor knew kissing under the mistletoe wasn’t required but you had texted him, saying you needed help getting back at Tony, and growing up with Loki, Thor was always up for getting even. He wouldn’t kiss Tony if he didn’t want to, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t chase him around the lab pretending he would as the genius ran around screaming. You were recording it for later too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to start writing more holiday one-shots.


	11. Stash

When it comes to food, the compound is always stocked with the best. Junk Food is a different story. It’s not that it isn’t allowed; it’s just that everyone hordes the stuff. If you turn your back to a bag of chips, chances are it won’t be there when you turn back. That’s why most of the team tends to hide whatever they can get their hands on.

Tony hides all types of snacks around his lab, so he doesn’t have to walk to the kitchen when he’s working. Bruce had his snacks hidden there too, in the drawers of his desk. Thor keeps a box of Asgardian sweets hidden in his drawers that remind him of home. Natasha secretly has a box of imported chocolate in a vent in her room. Wanda kept her favorite brand of chips in the back of her closet. Steve keeps his favorite snacks hidden in the back of a kitchen cabinet and Bucky hides some candy hidden in a tree outside so he had something to eat when he went into the woods nearby to relax. Even you kept your snacks in a box under your bed so that you didn’t have to share with any of them.

Your hiding places were all well-kept secrets, so when things started to go missing, trouble followed.

Bucky was the first to notice and brought it to everyone’s attention when he stomped into the living area. “Who took it?”

“Took what?” Wanda asked him. You were too busy with your videogame to answer.

“My candy,” Bucky replied. “I had some hidden by the tree I sat under but they were gone when I went there.”

You kept your eyes on the screen but couldn’t help but laugh at what he said. “You keep food in a tree? Are you stockpiling for winter?”

Some of the team chuckled but Bucky didn’t let it go. “I’m serious. I just bought the stuff yesterday and now it’s gone.”

“How do you know it’s us?” Clint asked. “Could have been one of the landscapers cleaning up or a wild animal-”

“It had to be one of you,” Bucky accused. “No one can have anything in this place without one you eating it everything.”

“You’re one to talk.”

Before things could escalate, Steve stepped in. “We can order you some more candy later Buck, it’s not that serious.”

Bucky glared at his best friend. “It is, Steve. Nothing is sacred to these people.”

You rolled your eyes, tired of hearing him complain and just wanting to go back to your game. “Barnes, I can tell you with certainty I didn’t touch your nasty tree candy. Clint on the other hand-”

“It wasn’t me!” the archer defended. 

Everyone present denied having any part in stealing Barnes’ secret stash, which caused the conversation to die out for the time being. Nobody brought up the stolen food until the incident repeated itself a day later.

This time you heard a frustrated shout come from the hallway, making you put down your phone. Natasha then came into the living area with a furious look on her face. Steve and Tony scurried out her way as everyone knew an angry Natasha was not someone you missed with. 

“Which one of you was it?” she sneered at all of you.

“You’re going to have to be a lot more specific,” you replied. You instantly regretted it as she turned to glare at you.

“I had some chocolate hidden in my room, and now it’s gone. Who took it? Confess now and I might not tear your head off.”

“Couldn’t you have just eaten it and forgotten?” Clint asked. He too flinched when the redhead turned to him. “Just a thought.”

“Just buy some more like Barnes,” Tony suggested. “Problem solved.”

Natasha took in a deep breath to keep her from snapping. “This isn’t like Barnes nasty tree candy-”

“Hey!” Bucky protested.

“-This was very expensive, very rare chocolate. Nearly impossible to get this time of year.”

“Just settle for dollar store candy like the rest of us,” you told her.

“It isn’t nice when someone takes your stuff, huh?” Bucky mocked. Still bitter from yesterday he wasn’t afraid to talk back to her.

Natasha glared at him. “If I find out you did this because of your tree candy, you are dead meat, Barnes.”

That’s when the argument started; the two assassins accusing each other of raiding each other’s hiding spots. Luckily it died out before it could escalate. 

The next day is when you all figured out something was amiss, as everyone else’s hiding spots were raided.

“They’re all gone!” Tony shouted. “All my snacks in my lab are gone! This is the last straw! I provide this team with so much, and this is how I’m repaid?!”

“Yeah my stuff was taken too,” Bruce added. His reaction wasn’t as dramatic as his friend’s.

“My stuff was stolen as well,” Thor announced. Sparks of electricity appeared on his fingers as he spoke. “When I catch the thief they will pay dearly.”

Wanda’s eyes flickered red for a moment. “They definitely will.”

Steve walked in with a frown on his face. He had left to check on his snacks but from the expression on his face, you were sure it hadn’t ended well.

You patted the super-soldier on the shoulder. “It’s okay man, we’ll get you some more.”

Clint turned to you. “What about you? What did they take?”

“I, uh, don’t have a secret stash,” you laughed nervously as everyone’s eyes turned to you.

“That is such a lie,” Wanda accused. “You have a stash.”

“Think whatever you want, Maximoff. I don’t have to hide anything.” You backed away slowly from your team. “In completely unrelated news, I am going to my room now.”

“You stole our stuff!” Clint shouted.

“I did not!”

Tony moved to block your exit. “Then show us your stash. If it’s gone too then you're not the thief.”

“This is bullshit.”

“You have nothing to worry about if you’re innocent,” Nat said.

Finally giving in you lead your team to your room. When you opened the door you saw the box you kept your stash in was out in the open instead of its usual hiding place and it was empty. Devastated you fell to your knees dramatically as Thor gave you a sympathetic pat on your back.

“Okay, so it’s not (Y/N),” Bruce reasoned.

“Who would do such a thing?” Thor asked as he continued to console you.

“I believe I know who the culprit is,” Friday spoke up.

Tony looked at his AI confused. “I thought you didn’t see who it was.”

“The first few times they managed to evade my security measures, but I managed to catch a glimpse when they stole (L/N)’s things. They are currently in Barton’s room.”

“My backup cookies!” the archer screamed as he ran towards his room. You all followed, hoping to see who was responsible for all this.

When Clint burst through his door you couldn’t help but laugh at the sight before you.

A very chubby raccoon was on the archer’s bed, devouring the cookies in front of it. Clint shouted at the wild animal, hoping it would scare it off, but it didn’t budge.

“This thing ate my chocolates,” Natasha sneered. “Are you kidding me?”

Tony sighed. “Looks like I forgot to make this place raccoon-proof.”

Bruce watched as Clint kept trying to scare the raccoon off his bed. “It probably got a taste for human food after it ate Bucky’s snacks.”

“So this is all Barnes' fault,” you reasoned. 

Various people agreed with you making Bucky mutter to himself. “My stuff got eaten too.”

“So what are we doing about this guy?!” Clint asked, pointing at the raccoon still eating all his cookies and dropping crumbs on his bedsheets.

You approached the bed. “It’s kind of cute.”

The raccoon hissed at you when you got too close, making you jump back. “Nevermind, get it out of here.”


	12. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda x reader  
> Gender-neutral pronouns for the reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, forgot to double-check. Hope you still enjoy it.

“I need you to sign and turn this into the administrative building,” Tony said, dumping some files into your lap.

“Can’t I just email them a copy?” You haven’t stepped foot in the administrative building since Tony transferred the team from the tower to the compound. You were on bad terms with someone who worked there, and you didn’t want to cross paths with them.

“It has to be in person,” Tony insisted. “You have to sign some more things when you get there.”

You groan in frustration, making Stark raise an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re still avoiding you-know-who.”

The phrase caught some nearby teammates’ attention.

“Who’s you-know-who?” Steve asked.

“Voldermort,” you joked.

Tony nudged your shoulder as he explained. “(Y/N) briefly went out with a receptionist that works in the admin building. It didn’t end pretty.”

You scoffed, “You can say that again.”

“Dating coworkers never ends well,” Sam told you. “It always makes things awkward.”

“Lesson learned.”

“You still have to turn in those files,” Tony told you in a serious tone. “And it has to be today.”

“Fine,” you groaned.

You tried to put the task off for hours, but Stark kept pestering you about it until you finally walked to the admin building. You reminded yourself that the building was big and you would most likely not bump into your ex. 

You were quickly proven wrong when you saw a familiar face sitting at the front desk. You wanted to run out of there, but you made eye contact, and there was no going back.

“Hey Victoria,” you said, trying to be civil. “Forgot you worked here.”

Victoria, your ex, didn’t bother to hide the disdain in her voice. “And I forgot you existed.”

You laughed awkwardly as you placed the files on her desk. “Oh, Vicky, always with your jokes.”

“What do you want (Y/N)?”

“Always so blunt.” She glared, making you gulp. “I need you to file these reports for me.”

She skimmed through the reports before tossing them towards you. “You missed multiple signatures and dates. I can’t file those.”

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down. “Pass me a pen and I’ll correct it right now.”

You moved to the side to fill out the reports, but you could feel Victoria’s gaze on you. 

“You aren’t dating anyone, are you?”

You tensed at her question. You haven’t been in a steady relationship since you broke up with her, but you didn’t want to admit that to her. “Why is that your business?”

“Just wondering,” she said casually. “But I’m right, aren’t I?”

“I actually am dating someone,” you lied. It would probably come back to bite you later, but you didn’t want her to have the satisfaction of being right.

Your response got on Victoria’s nerves. “I’m sure I would have heard of it. It would be a big deal if an Avenger like you was dating someone.”

“Some people don’t date others just for the publicity Vicky,” you said bitterly. “I’m just keeping it private.”

Vicky rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

As you finished up your report, you noticed a familiar face walk through the front doors. 

“Wanda,” you called out happily. Wanda smiled and walked over to you. You couldn’t have chosen a better person right now.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were-” 

You cut her off with a hug and whispered into her ear. “Please play along and I swear I’ll pay you back.”

Before she could question it you turned back to Vicky but kept an arm around Wanda’s waist. “If that’s all we better get going.”

Your ex’s eyes widened as she stared at the woman next to you. “You two are together now?”

Catching on to what was happening, Wanda happily played along. She leaned her head on your shoulder smiled at Vicky. “We started dating a few months ago. Best decision ever.”

You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach as Wanda spoke. You had to remind yourself that this was all pretend, to help you keep calm. What made it hard was what Wanda did to seal the deal. 

She wrapped her arms around your neck and pulled you into a kiss. It caught you by surprise but that didn’t stop you from pulling her closer. You nearly forgot you were in public until she pulled away and turned to Vicky. “Nice meeting you.”

Wanda lead you out of the building, leaving behind a ton of stunned agents who had witnessed your charade.

“So…” Now that you two were alone you didn’t know what to say.

“Sorry about the kiss,” she told you. “I may have gotten too into character.”

“No, it’s fine!” you said too quickly. “I mean it was- I really-”

You struggled to speak, making Wanda laugh. “You promised to pay me back earlier.”

“Yeah, I did. What do you have in mind?”

“How about a date?”

You remembered Wilson’s advice about how dating coworkers always makes things awkward. He was right, but you were willing to take your chance with Wanda. “I would like that.”


	13. Pranks

Making your morning coffee, you reached into a cupboard for a mug. The second you opened it up, something with multiple legs jumped on your hand. Startled, you jumped back and yelled, shaking it off of you. It wasn’t until you heard nearby laughter that you realized that it wasn’t real.

Annoyed, you turn to Sam and Steve, who were sitting at the kitchen counter. “Okay, which one of you was it?”

Steve put his hands up. “It wasn’t me, I swear.”

“Same here,” Sam added. “I’m innocent.”

You grabbed the plastic spider and tossed it in front of them. “Do I have to remind you of the no pranking rule? You both remember what happened the last time it got out of hand. Don’t start something you can’t end.”

They shivered as they remembered the prank war that had ended in a stalemate. Nobody remembers how it started, just that everyone was dragged in and nobody was safe. A lot of innocent teammates were caught in the crossfire.

“I’m serious; it wasn’t us,” Sam told you.

You squint at them. “It better not be.”

That was just the beginning of a series of unfortunate events.

Tony found that everything in his lab had been glued down. A glitter bomb was put in Natasha’s gym bag, and it covered her in the stuff. Someone reprogrammed Friday to play Captain America’s theme song (Star-spangled man) every time Steve walked into a room. Clint’s suit had itching powder in it. Sam had walked into his bedroom and found that it was empty as all his furniture was moved to the front lawn. Bucky’s arm was found taped to the ceiling, and Wanda’s shampoo had purple hair dye in it. And for you, the spider in the kitchen cabinet wasn’t all of it. You had found a real one in your bedsheets and nearly had a heart attack.

“You’re the only one who could have done it,” Sam accused Wanda during a meeting. “Who else can empty an entire room in a couple of hours?”

“You think I touched your stuff? Is that why you put hair dye in my shampoo?!” Wanda’s eyes flashed red, but it was so hard to take her seriously with purple hair.

“I didn’t do that!”

“I can’t get any work done with all my stuff glued down,” Tony complained.

Steve glared in his direction. “It’s what you deserve after what you made Friday do.”

“That wasn’t me, Mr. Liberty.”

“Any one of us could have had Friday do that,” Natasha told Steve. “But glitter has (Y/N) written all over it.”

Offended, you gasped. “That’s rich coming from you, Black Widow!”

“Just cause my code name is Black Widow, it doesn’t mean I leave spiders lying around.”

As you all started tearing into each other, you were oblivious to Banner sitting on the couch looking smug. The last time you guys pranked each other, he was collateral damage to a lot of them. This was his way of paying you all back but watching you blame each other was the cherry on top.


End file.
